Wednesday, 16 November 2016

Hallow The Fiftieth Year.





"I am no longer just passing through the world, but digging deep and collecting moments'  ~ Joan Anderson, A year by the Sea.
  
I reached a milestone earlier this year. I turned 50. Helen Keller once wrote 'One should never count the years - one should count one's interests." However I am happy to count the years and  I am grateful to have reached this age as a couple of years ago it seemed unlikely that I would. So to me this fiftieth year is indeed hallowed.

In 2014 I undertook my healing journey. Not able to work for a year, I rediscovered who I was and what I valued.

In 2015 I returned to work and found once again I had to undertake an unspeakably hard challenge as I re-entered the workforce. I won't go into details as to why it was so hard returning to work, as I want to try and keep focused on the positive.

So 2016 has been my Jubilee year. It has been much less challenging then the two preceding years. For much of the last 12 months I have taken the motto "It is what it is".  This motto has been very grounding for me and has helped me accept situations as they are, without regretting 'how they should be', as far as my opinion is concerned. 


Lately, though,  I have been feeling a stirring in my spirit. The desire to not just pass through the world as Joan Anderson wrote, but to dig deep and collect the moments. New and as yet hazy goals are appearing on the horizon of my thoughts. Glowing gently, yet persistent enough to keep invading my awareness…..

16 comments:

  1. Happy birthday. That will be my magic number in 8 more years. We are very fortunate to be able to live to such an age, and make the most of it. I hope you had a calming birthday, and those hazy goals take form in the future. :)

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    1. Thanks Chris. We are fortunate in so many ways. Sometimes when I am driving somewhere I feel so grateful for being able to drive a car and the freedom it brings. I imagine how different life would be if I had to travel by horse or shank's pony. And the internet! I can learn skills through Youtube and from people like you, who I would never otherwise had the chance to meet and share ideas with. Actually I am still not sure that the internet is not really magic. Can you imagine trying to explain the internet to someone in the 1840's?

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  2. I'm 44, and I know I should be grateful to celebrate another year, as many never have that opportunity, but from the moment I was staring 40 in the face, I hated it! I cancelled my planned 40th celebrations, and completely ignored it! I'm sort of coming around to the fact that I am in my forties, but it's been slow...4 years in fact! It's completely illogical and some what silly, but it's just how I feel. I'm hoping by the time I'm 50, I will embrace it with arms wide open!

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    1. I think what is interesting about being a human is that we can contain so many conflicting feelings. I am grateful to be alive, yet at times I can be so jealous of young folk - the limberness they have, the potential, the possibilities stretching out before them. I really do mourn the passing of these things from my life. At times I feel an almost physical ache from the loss of these things as I feel my own mortality weighing down on me. So even though you probably 'hated' turning 40 for different reasons and had different feelings from those I just described I don't think your feelings are illogical or silly. Just real.

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  3. I feel very similar...that stirring as you put it. I'm 50 next year.

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    1. I know you do. I can often sense it in your writings. Perhaps we are in some sort of stage of transition. Something akin to what Rhonda writes about what she went through in her early days of adopting simple living perhaps?

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  4. Happy birthday dear Sherri. Gosh, what a journey you've had! I love hearing that you are grateful to be the age that you are, as am I at 11yrs your senior, and every day keeps getting better and better. At fifty came the sense of stirring, calm and chaos, as I needed to transition into my "mature years". At about that time we became practitioners of Bio-dynamic land management and one of the most practiced actions was the stirring of the preps to create chaos and calm influences. Now the most vivid affirmation for my farming, land management and life, is to "Manage for what you want, not for what you don't want."

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    1. Oooh, I do like the way you describe 'the sense of stirring, calm and chaos." That could describe the way I feel at this juncture. A stirring and yet a calmness from the stability gained from my many years of life experience and yet a sense of chaos in the 'Sliding Doors' movie sense of choices, chance and opportunities.

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  5. I'm past the 50 mark. Aging has been "freeing" to me. I never regretted the passage into mid-life.....for me it was a chance to be ME. I love not having to act a certain way or pretend to be something I am not. I do as I please and the funny part is--I have far more friends at this stage of life than ever before.
    Enjoy!! It is the BEST time of life
    :)

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    1. Yes, after a very difficult year last year, that did its best to dismantle me like a wall being taken down brick by brick, I know have a feeling of 'stepping back into myself.' I guess I am trying to say that I too feel I am becoming more authentic as I age rather than less authentic.

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  6. I am well past 50 now, Sherri and closer to 70 which sounds really old but it seems only yesterday that I had my 50th birthday. Time really does fly and we have to take the good with the bad and make the best of what challenges life throws at us. Turning 50 coincided with a family member becoming unwell with an incurable illness so life took at very different path from anything I had ever expected. Still it is amazing what you learn along the way and such knowledge can then be used to help others.

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    1. I see many of my peers or people just a few years older who are now dealing with serious health issues. For me it underscores the need not to take anything for granted and also the need to not put off things that I could be experiencing now.

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  7. Happy birthday Sherri! It seems that as each year goes by it becomes more and more obvious what is important in life. Enjoy the journey of your fiftieth year and make the most of every moment!

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    1. Thanks Julie. Making the most of every moment is key isn't it? Unfortunately the day to day shuffle of life makes it easy to miss out on making the most of every moment. I must remember not to rush so much and to take time to pause and be aware.

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  8. Dear Sherri, this is such a relevant post for me too. I am moving towards 57, and mindful that the women in my family have not traditionally lived much past 60, as victims of the big C, and it's indiscriminate touch. Healthy lifestyle, and positive outlook did not help them, but I remain hopeful that it will do the trick for myself and my sisters. I am ever grateful, as are you, to have the luxury of living to this age, as even three generations ago, we would have been considered 'elderly' by now, and really not expected to live much longer. As it stands, with science and the Universe on our side, we can expect to live almost as many years again. What a blessing. But yes, we approach this second stage of life (as I think of it) with the wisdom of hindsight, and the feeling of needing to leave our mark on this Earth. As Nanna Chel said, life throws things at us that we do not expect, but I've always seen those challenges as an opportunity to learn something new about myself and the world around me...for better or worse! So I'm with you. Dig deep and extract from life every morsel that you can, for you never know when your time will come, to move on to whatever welcomes us from our Earthly existence. A lovely post and such a good one for me for a Monday morning! Love, Mimi xxx

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    1. I have not long been home after a busy day at work and of course here at home I have more work to do. But there must also be time for digging deep and taking stock, and perhaps especially exploring. Right now I think I am experiencing a bit of work-lag (if there is jet-lag, why not work-lag?), and I fear I may be a bit inclined to ramble! But what I really want to say is thank you for your lovely comment Mimi.

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